There have been so many times in my life I have settled. In relationships, health and in so many other areas. I was willing to sit in my circumstance and believe that there was no other option and that the reality I lived in was all that it ever was going to be. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Speaking from my own experiences, there were several reasons that caused me to live this way.
1. I was afraid of the unknown. While what I was smack dab in the middle of was not exactly what I wanted, it was easier to stay than to remove myself and step into the unforeseen. What if it wasn’t any better? What if what I stepped into was worse? What if I never found the next <fill in the blank>? What if people had unrealistic expectations of me?
2. I was afraid of positive change. I remember at times, dreaming about a positive future and what that could look like but then all I could see surrounding that, were the changes that I would need to make to bring it to pass. What if I failed? What if those around me didn’t support the changes I wanted to make? What would be expected of me, if things were different?
3. I listened to old tapes in my head. I let myself believe that my past defined me. I let the voices of school children from long ago tell me that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough or skinny enough. I let voices from family members remind me that I would be so pretty if I would just lose a little bit of weight. I let every mistake made keep me fearful and believed the voices that told me that to try only means to fail again. I let every failed relationship be a reminder of the imperfect person that I am.
4. I didn’t know my worth in the eyes of the Lord. I let the world define my value. I let fear, insecurity and people pleasing be the driving force in my decisions instead of seeking out God, understanding the truth about who He is and who I am in Him. I settled for second best because I wasn’t fully understanding the truth of God’s word or the unconditional love, grace and redemption that He offered. I allowed my character to be compromised because I wasn’t modeling The One who died on the cross for me. I lost my moral compass because my eyes were fixed on fleshly wants and needs instead of to The One who holds all the answers. I allowed my chaotic thoughts to become actions which became my reality and failed to purposefully think on the truth of The Word and then act upon it.
Yes these are all things that I did that caused me to choose to settle. To settle for less than what God had for me. These days, I am FAR from perfect in these areas but I am getting better. I am no longer willing to settle for many things. Especially when it comes to my relationship with God, relationships with others and my value in those relationships. I finally know who I am IN Him.
My heart hurts when I see young adults or even grown adults, caught in the same insane cycle that held me captive for so long. I become even more certain that the quest God has placed on my heart, to share my testimony, to do this website, to offer hope and encourage others to live the life of freedom that God offers is an absolute MUST!
When I hear stories of the unmarried women around me sharing their heartache, yet choosing to stay in the situation; When I see the pain of betrayal in their eyes yet hear them excuse what was done; When I hear them voice the tapes of their past, refusing to believe it could be different, the depths of my soul cries out “Don’t Settle!” “You’re worth more than that!”
Oh how I long that they will see themselves through God’s eyes.
How I pray that they will recognize the need for God’s perspective instead of their fleshly one.
For those of us who have been there and have seen the triumph of The Lord, never stop sharing the need for God, His Son and the Glorious News of the Gospel.
Our world is filled with hurting people who in turn, hurt others. We have to resolve to pass along the victory to others. To let God’s redemptive power shine hope on the victory waiting for those who are watching. Satan wants nothing more than to stall the wave of hope that our togetherness brings. We have to stand firm in our mission, for our sisters and brothers, our nieces and nephews, our sons and daughters, our grandchildren. Our actions today, impact far into the future.
Never give up.
Keep fighting and trust that God will remove ALL of us from a place of settling for second best, to His glorious best and unending Freedom!