This page is created to share our stories. If you would like to share your journey please feel free to submit through my contact area and I will add it to the page.
Shauna is a dear friend of mine and below is a small piece of her journey. If you want to be further blessed by her story, check out her blog at https://oncebatteredforeverblessed.wordpress.com
In addiction, I felt consumed by darkness. Days and nights ran together. My existence seemed utterly plagued with pain, regret, blame, self-sabotage, anger, frustration, and self-loathing. I had reached a point in my life where I could not have been further from God. I truly believed I had disappointed Him (God) to the point of irreconcilable measure. I allowed myself to believe and embrace Satan’s lies that I was no longer worthy of God’s time, God’s attention, God’s forgiveness and God’s love. I believed I had passed the point of no return and redemption was unattainable. These LIES drove me deeper into depression, being held captive by the stronghold of Satan himself. Convincing me with every thought how despicable I was. The will to live was quickly draining from me. I had disappointed and deeply hurt everyone I loved and everyone who loved me. Shame ruled my days and self hatred ruled my nights. Sleep, when it came, was plagued with death and destruction. I felt doomed. Drinking, I thought, was the one way to escape. I thought it helped me-shielded me somehow from the demons that were in my every sober thought.
One night, unusually sober, laying in bed, I had this occur….I was laying on the ground with thousands of horses stampeding all around me. I was drowning in a sea of horse hooves- trampled, bruised, feeling death breathing upon me-from the deepest depths of my soul, I cried out..I screamed out to my one true God…”Lord, I surrender all to you, Please save me!” I could not have been more sincere about anything in my life at that moment.
“I SURRENDER ALL” – from the chaos of the stampede, through the dust filled night, in complete darkness, the dark gave way immediately parted and light came through. The stampede silenced. Through the light, a hand reached down- reaching for me. He scooped my broken body into his massive hand, bringing me into his arms with a strength and power human words could never pen to paper. While ascending from the horrific battlefield, the Lord’s commanding yet compassionate voice spoke to me; “I have got you, my child. Today, I take you back. I have been waiting for you. I never left your side and I never forsake you. Once my child, you are always my child.” I was overcome with emotion, overtaken by a flood of tears…tears of relief, of joy and a faith instantly renewed. I was covered in the warm blanket of God’s love, grace, mercy and experienced a peace truly beyond all understanding.
I believe…NO, I KNOW, I was saved because I chose to surrender. Not lip service surrender, or desperation surrender…genuine, from my soul SURRENDER.
That day recovery and healing truly began for me and continues everyday! God saved me because I cried out to him. All of the horrible lies Satan put in my head were cast out because I was truly ready to let go and let God take over. The “little sucker demons” were cast off of me.
Psalm 30:2-3 LORD my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me. O LORD, You brought my soul up from the grave; You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.